I’m a total introvert. And although I’m not overly shy I do find networking events to be draining and I often find it hard to start conversations.
That said, I find most of my clients through networking and referrals from my network, so it’s an important part of my business. Strangely enough, I also find that when I’m networking regularly new business seems to appear even if it’s not directly coming from the networking I’m doing. I think of it as my attendance at networking events is putting out to the universe the thought that I’m actively looking for clients. So the universe provides.
However you want to think of it, networking is something you should be doing. So here are 10 tips on networking for introverts that will help you attend functions with a minimum of stress and not leave you exhausted at the end of the event.
Before the event
- Sign up in advance.
Seriously, it’s so much easier to agree to something when it’s a couple of weeks out. Plus, you have it in your diary so you know it’s coming up and can plan around it. It’s also harder to drop out at the last minute, particularly if you have to ring to cancel. - Don’t sign up for too many things in the same day/week.
I have a limit of 1 event per day. Whether it’s networking, client meetings or even having lunch with friends, I’ll only commit to one per day. And in a week I like to have at least 2 days when I’m in the office all day. That’s what works for me. Pay attention to how you feel after events (keep a diary if you need to) and work out what is the best thing for you. - Give yourself a set time to stay (I’ll just go for an hour/the morning session etc).
I mostly promise myself I’ll stay for an hour. Most of the time I stay much longer, but I find that once I get in the door and start having conversations, the rest isn’t so bad. It’s mostly just getting me out of the house and into the car, then out of the car and into the function. If I can get through that, the rest isn’t so bad. - Get organised.
Make sure you’ve got business cards in your handbag, lay out what you’re going to wear and try it on earlier to make sure everything fits properly, you’ve got shoes that match and anything else that might put you in a tailspin at the last moment is covered well in advance. The more things you have set beforehand, the less likely you’ll get overwhelmed before you even leave the house. - Plan the trip.
Check out the location on Google Maps so you know where you have to go and decide which route you’re going to take to get there. You can get an idea of how long it will take so you know you’ll be leaving with plenty of time to spare. If you need petrol, either get it beforehand or make sure there’s a service station on your route and include an extra 10 minutes or so in your travel time.
At the event
- Don’t get there too early, or too late.
I hate being late. But, when it comes to networking if you get there too early and you’re the first one there and have to spend time standing around waiting for others to turn up – by the time others arrive, you’re feeling so awkward that it’s really hard to recover. Likewise, if you turn up late you risk either having to walk in during speeches or arriving after conversational groups have formed. - If you’re nervous, contact the organisers or take an extroverted friend along.
Ask anybody who is organising an event and they’ll tell you that one of their main aims is to make sure everybody enjoys themselves. So if you’re worried about feeling out of place, contact the organisers and let them know you’re new and feeling a bit nervous. They’ll be able to keep an eye out for you and introduce you around or find someone who can. If you’ve got an extroverted friend or co-worker, they can do the same. - Approach people with a smile and say hello.
Many of the people you meet will be just as nervous and shy as you are – maybe even more. So just look friendly and approach someone, or a group and say “hi”. There’s generally someone more extroverted who will take it from there. If not, introduce yourself, let others introduce themselves and ask them about their business to get the conversation started. Stay away from controversial topics and if possible avoid topics like the weather and traffic unless something truly extraordinary is happening. - If all else fails, join an existing group.
There you will probably be able to get along with a minimum of participation until you feel more comfortable. Remember, there’s no point networking if you’re not contributing at all, but there’s nothing wrong with not walking in the door and owning the room. If everyone tried to do that, events would be noisy at best and full of conflict at worst. So join a group, listen for a while and jump in when you’re comfortable doing so. - Don’t drink too much.
I don’t drink so this isn’t really an issue for me, but I remember when I was younger and did drink and I’d find a few drinks turned me from being the one hiding out away from all the people into being the life of the party. Like most people, I didn’t always stop once I became the life of the party. So if you find a drink or two helps you relax, by all means go for it. But make sure you only have one or two. If you’re not sure you’ll stop at that, don’t drink anything. It’s far better to be slightly awkward and uncomfortable than to overindulge.
So that’s 10 things I do when I’m networking that makes it all go a little easier for me. It’s never easy, and pretending it is just makes the process more stressful for me. However, it’s not the end of the world either and other people are never being as judgmental as I think they are, and in all honesty, if they were then they’re probably the kind of people whose opinion is irrelevant to me. Just remember that whatever you’re feeling, you’re not alone and people are generally lovely. So don’t try too hard and be as gentle with yourself as you would be if faced with someone else feeling as off balance as you do. At the end of the day, networking for introverts doesn’t have to be so bad.
