Some days it’s really hard to keep a positive attitude. Particularly these days, when we all lead such busy lives it’s easy to let the stress take over. Here are 5 things to keep in mind when you get overwhelmed and things aren’t working out.
Choose to be positive
In the end, how you react to things is your choice. Everybody has bad times and bad days, but how they affect you is up to you. Sometimes a series of bad things will knock you off your feet for a while, other times, you’ll just have a bad day, or a single bad event occurs that seems to be a major setback. When it does, it’s up to you whether you choose to wallow in pain, shame or fear, OR whether you choose to write it off as a learning experience, dust yourself off and focus on your goals and look for the funny side. In the end it’s totally up to you and it is a conscious choice even though it might not always feel like it.
In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility – Eleanor Roosevelt
Keep things in perspective
Very few of the daily upsets we have will actually be important in the long run and often it’s the little things that provide the most annoyance and aggravation. By keeping things in perspective and being able to avoid getting down over things that are unimportant you can keep a better focus on reaching your goals and becoming a better person. One way to do this is to have goals and know what you want to achieve in life. Then whenever you have a setback, you’ve got a benchmark to compare it against and ask yourself how much of an effect it will have in the long run. Sometimes, just being able to take a deep breath and make the next small step towards a goal is far more important than all the days when you’re leaping towards your goals.
Often it isn’t the mountains ahead that wear you out, it’s the little pebble in your shoe. ― Muhammad Ali
Think outside of yourself
I saw this quote the other day, and I haven’t been able to find an attribution, but it really rings true to me:
The problem with society these days is that everybody has a right but nobody has a responsibility
It’s really important for people to have rights. Equal rights, human rights, the right to live the life you choose – they’re all really important and I’m not for a minute suggesting that anyone should give up any of them. BUT… for some reason, it seems that a lot of people nowadays feel that THEIR rights are the only important ones and make no effort to avoid infringing on someone else’s rights. The art of compromise, or seeking a win-win solution seems to have disappeared. And I think it’s really really sad. When I was younger it was called manners (I feel like I’m channeling my parents now!), but taking personal responsibility for anything is a skill that people seem to be ignoring.
When you think outside yourself and consider how your behavior affects others, you’ll find yourself getting less wrapped up in “poor me” thinking and instead you’ll be seeing yourself as part of a community. The community could be an online community where you’re not being a jerky troll, a local community where you’re being a good friend and neighbor or a city / state / country community where you’re being a productive member of society. But, it won’t ever happen if your first concern is always how everything effects you.
Thinking as part of a community does not mean giving up your rights, it means working with other community members to find a win-win solution. And there almost always is one, it just might take compromise and creativity to find it.
Give
Think about what’s important to you, and give. Give your time, give your money, give whatever you can, it’s just important to share and help out the causes that are important to you. If you’re interested, the main charities I support are:
In the end, it doesn’t really matter what causes you choose to support, or how you support them. What does matter is that you give freely of your time or money. Giving because you want something in return doesn’t count. That is a purchase. Whether you’re purchasing some sort of kudos in the afterlife, or what you consider to be recognition from your family or peers you pay in not only your time and money, but also by losing some of the beneficial aspects of practicing charity. That said – if you do practice charity for the wrong reasons, don’t stop… I’m sure most charities would prefer misplaced charity than no charity. Just be aware that you’re doing yourself a disservice.
It is one of the beautiful compensations in this life that no one can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Live your own life
One of the main causes of dissatisfaction is trying to meet someone else’s definition of success. You need to decide what’s important for you, and you need to work towards that. Trying to achieve goals that you set to impress other people, or to gain their approval will always result in disappointment. If you reach the goal, it won’t be as fulfilling as reaching a goal that’s important to you. And if you don’t reach the goal, you’ve failed on two counts. If you’re doing what you love, the sacrifices you have to make don’t feel so much like sacrifices. The setbacks you’ll inevitably face seem more like challenges than catastrophes. And when you reach a goal or milestone, the feeling of satisfaction will far eclipse the feeling of reaching a goal set by society.
And those who were seen dancing, were thought to be crazy, by those who could not hear the music. ― Friedrich Nietzsche
Lastly, if you are suffering from depression or if you even think you might, possibly, could just be, a bit more than just a bit, down. Talk to someone, and get professional help if it’s necessary. You’re the only one who can take control of your life, but you don’t always have to do it on your own. Unless you’re the type of person who prefers to do that, and again, there’s nothing wrong with that – I am too.
